Most people tend to believe that new relationships can cure them of a painful breakup or loneliness. However, psychologists are sure that we need to have a sensible approach to start all over with a new partner again and do this only after time passes — to be sure that we are ready for a new chapter.
The fears you had when you met your ex are gone — the nervous jitters aren’t there and the anger you had toward them is long gone. You’ve started to relate to your past with warmth and gratitude because it has given you many good things.
All these signs mean that you have moved on and have stopped replaying all your past emotions over and over again. You have instead started to focus on your future and build new relationships.
As paradoxical as it might sound, you are never as ready for new relationships as you are at the moment when you are not ready for them at all. All because at this moment you don’t feel sad that you are single, you don’t sit at home waiting for love, and you don’t keep checking your phone for new messages every now and then. Instead, you are filling your life with something that is really interesting to you.
When we are in a relationship, we subconsciously start to adopt the interests of our partner. After breaking up, these interests still stay with us. And after some time you might realize that kayaking is not something that you really like, while your granddad’s old forgotten camera that is buried deep in your closet is something that can bring you real pleasure. You start doing what you really like or what you’ve always wanted to try.
Besides that, you have your own friends who you communicate with and not because you are obligated to do it but because you genuinely want to do it. To cut the story short, you are ready for a new relationship if your life is no longer focused on just one person.
no longer focused
While you’re not in a relationship, you have the chance to store up so much warmth and tenderness that you can warm up the half of the world with all of your reserves. And the moment when you understand that not only do you want to be hugged and supported, but also that you yourself are ready to hug another person and support them — means that you are ready for a new relationship.
You are able to watch love stories again without tears and be truly happy if your friends get married or confess their deep feelings for each other. You are not jealous of friends and of those who have found their happiness before you because you know that one day it’s gonna happen with you too.
The thought that you’ll have to talk about yourself once again and that you’ll have to learn about another person from scratch when you meet a new person doesn’t bother you anymore. Instead, it sparks your interest.
All because enough time has passed after the breakup and you feel like charming and being charmed again.
With all the time that you spent alone, you have learned to draw your boundaries correctly and now you know for sure which features in a partner will match yours. You can easily say “No” to any person if you see that relationships with them won’t lead to anything good.
In order to not forget something, it’s recommended to make a list of qualities you’d like to see in your future partner.
Your boundaries might be strict, but at the same time you also understand that there might be something that your future partner won’t like in you. You are ready for discussions and are able to compromise. For example, you are ready to give up your bad habits and develop new ones, reconsider your opinion about some things, and even try something new.
How difficult is it for you to bear the burden of loneliness on a scale of 1 to 10? Please tell us about it in the comments!